Obama, Kool Launch Campaign
Last week it was revealed that democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama enjoys the bold, smooth and fresh flavor of Kool Cigarettes.
Last week it was revealed that democratic presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama enjoys the bold, smooth and fresh flavor of Kool Cigarettes. In a press conference, Obama confessed to his love for Kool’s while at the same time stating that he has no regrets when it comes to his addiction to quality, menthol-tasting, filtered tobacco. When asked if Obama thought that his smoking habit might be exploited as a sign of weakness over the next couple of years in his pursuit for the presidency, Obama responded that “Kool is where it’s at.” In light of this recent surfacing of nicotine addiction, Kool Cigarettes have approached Barack Obama seeking a joint ad-campaign. Randy Slaghorn, spokesperson for Kool has cited that they (Kool) will fully support and fund Obama’s presidential pursuit in exchange for Obama’s profile and voice for Kool’s new multi-million advertising surge. “This sort of situation is what every tobacco company dreams of,” said Merideth Price, president of finance at Kool, “come 2008 when Obama is being force-fed down voters’ throats via over-aired political he-said, she-said bashing, Kool will be right there offering a relaxing, soothing and pleasurably flavorful after-dinner smoke. This sort of publicity is a wet dream,” she continued. Sen. Barack Obama seems excited by the possibilities also. Never, in the history of presidential elections has a candidate been openly supported by a tobacco company. Through a complex and clever campaign plan, Obama feels that race mixed with socially unacceptable health habits can spell the recipe for presidential victory. “I don’t want to rely on the color of my skin or my ancestral heritage in order to win this election, but the fact is that’s what people see when they look at me,” said Obama via a telephone interview. “Similarly, I don’t want to rely on the cool, smooth and satisfying flavor of Kool brand Cigarettes to keep me relaxed on the road to victory, but the facts are undeniable. When I light up a fresh Kool cigarette after a long day of interviews and public appearances, I’m taken to another world; another world of nirvana and content.” Kool makes no apologies for the pleasure it provides via small, pocket-sized cellophane packages. “It’s no accident that Kool is the most satisfying cigarette on the planet,” says Slaghorn. Obama agrees, and can be expected to be seen lighting up before, after, and even during any public debates or interviews between now and November of 2008. Apparently, Kool has also offered to feed Obama’s addiction over the next couple of years by supplying him with unlimited cartons of Kool brand Cigarettes until the election results are posted. At nearly five dollars a pack, this is sure to save Obama plenty of money each day to be spent on other activities, such as undoing the Republican fuck-ups. Over the next few months, expect to see the beginnings of a new era for Kool Cigarettes. Kool is launching a multi-pronged advertising assault for the voters viewing and smoking pleasure. Billboards, magazines and websites will be plastered with the new joint Kool-Obama advertising slogan: “Vote for flavor, vote for Obama.” Advertisements will reveal Sen. Barack Obama in a variety of scenes, enjoying the refreshing menthol flavor of Kool Cigarettes. One scene shows Obama at the end of his day in his office with the lights turned off as he looks out the window at the city skyline and takes a drag of pure pleasure. Another scene reveals him in the pediatric ward of a hospital gazing at the future generation of Americans in the viewing room as he relaxes with a Kool cigarette. “Obama has a natural photographic charisma about him,” stated Kool photographer James Nash, “He’s sophisticated, noble, calming and seems to really enjoy smoking Kool Cigarettes.” Speculation surrounds this unique approach to winning votes for the presidential election. Some seem to think that smoking is off-putting and will only disgust voters who can’t seem to harness the pure healing power of menthol enlightenment. Yet others think that Sen. Barack Obama is making a genius move by trying to connect with the average Joe’s who like to step outside a dozen times a day to light up and unwind. Either way, it will be interesting to see how this election unfolds and if Kool can convince its patrons to look past racial barriers and see that Obama is just like them; just a guy who likes to take time out of his day to experience the bold, smooth and fresh flavor of Kool brand Cigarettes.